


Panic

by FireflySummer



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29006172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireflySummer/pseuds/FireflySummer
Summary: On surveillance together at a stately home, Robin experiences her first panic attack in months. Who is there to help her ... Strike of course. A little romance story with our detective favourite duo.
Relationships: Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Comments: 34
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Only my second ever fanfic so I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 2 to follow soon.

Robin felt the all too familiar wave of nausea course through her as her heart began to beat rapidly. She stumbled back a little from the gathering crowd of people milling in the large ostentatious hall. After several faltering steps she managed to find herself in a small alcove under a grand stairway.

Her breath was now coming out in half strangled sobs and she felt another wave of nausea and dizziness hit her like an express train. Beads of sweat prickled her skin, and the black dress which had made her feel bold and even sexy at the start of the evening now felt restrictive and tight.

Robin tried to focus her mind and follow the techniques from her CBT. Usually there was a warning or indicator when an attack was about to ensue but this one (her first in months since her divorce and Strike had insisted on therapy) had been sudden, sneaky and vicious.

Shit, shit shit!

They were meant to be carrying out surveillance for their current case. They were following Gollum (nicknamed by Strike) to see if he was using his aristocratic status as a veil to steel valuable jewellery.

The party was in full swing and the noise was only adding to the waves of anxiety that were now surging through Robin. She wasn’t even sure what had started the attack other than a far from subtle ‘come-on’ from a titled over privileged prick who had now moved on to prey on someone else. 

Robin had thought she had dealt with his flirtatious advances and lewd comments well. But something about his eyes, and the predatory way he continued to move around the ballroom had triggered some kind of memory deep inside her.

Robin’s hand gripped against her chest trying to steady her breathing. She was spiralling fast and was mere moments from being noticed and causing a significant scene that would blow their cover. The thought did little to calm her as the panic attack gripped her further like a tidal wave threatening to pull her down further into its murky depths.

The moment luckily never arrived as suddenly she sensed a familiar, comforting smell that seemed to envelop her in its warmth. It was the scent of lavender, shower gel and a subtle hint of nicotine that seemed to suddenly envelop her like a soft blanket on a winter’s night. This scent was followed by two large strong hands gripping her hips gently and the shield from prying eyes of a large, hard warm body clad in an immaculate Italian suit, crisp tie and shirt.

Strike!

“Robin..?”

His gravely voice seemed to manage to break through some of the fog but her breath continued to come out in harsh wheezing gasps. Strike moved his bulky frame, guiding Robin gently further back under the alcove until they were completely concealed.

One of his large calloused hands moved from her hips to tip her chin up, dragging her eyes to meet the intensity of his green gaze. Robin focused on his eyes and not for the first time felt herself falling into their intelligent warm depths.

“Shhh, It’s OK. Robin, look at me ….”

The strangled gasps continued and Strike took in her panicked appearance, paused momentarily then dipped his head pressing his forehead against hers.

Ordinarily Robin couldn’t bare anyone near her when she suffered an attack. The sudden memory of Matthew trying to hug her and the cloying sensation of suffocating evaded her mind.

But Strikes nearness felt nothing like that! As always he was the exception.

He was her anchor, and had been from the moment she had met him and his large hands had saved her from a precarious fall down the treacherous stairs at Denmark Street.

The cool feel of his forehead pressed against her own now had already began to act as a soothing balm. Far from feeling panicked she felt a small flicker of calm ignite inside her.

“Cormoran..” she managed to gasp out, her eyes fluttering shut, her hands gripping the lapels of his jacket. 

Apart from when he had held her at her wedding this was the closest she had ever been to Strike. She could feel the slow shallow puffs of his warm breath fanning her face softly. Even in her panic the rightness of him holding her did not escape her notice. It made Robin feel like they had held each other in this way a thousand times before. Like she somehow was in exactly the right place. That she was finally home.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay darling just breathe.” Strike whispered softly. Both of his hands moved to cup her face and his large thumbs brushed the apples of her cheeks. His deep voice came out sounding like grit mixed with molasses, soft and gravelly and so unbelievably gentle. Somewhere in her addled brain Robin realised his use of the endearment and her heart jolted.

“Count with me Robin. I’m here now. Listen to me.” He spoke softly, his large thumbs once again gently caressing her face in a soothing rhythmic motion. Strike began to count slowly, and gradually Robin could feel her heart rate slowing and her breath coming out more evenly.

She wasn’t sure how long they had been concealed in the alcove. How long Strike had held her so close. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. If anyone were to walk by they would merely see their closeness and assume they were a couple and Strike was kissing her. A thought that sent Robins heart racing in a delicious sense of longing and anticipation.

His mouth was so close to her own it would take just a mere tilt of her head and she would finally know what those full slightly off centre lips felt like. To run her tongue against the scar on his top lip as she had fantasised about doing for longer than was right for a woman who had been married and now only recently divorced.

“That’s it.” Strike gently coaxed his deep rich voice soothing her further, but causing yet another acute ripple of desire to pass through her this time.

Robin could feel her breathing returning slowly to some sort of normal. Enough to be able to feel the guilt of having nearly compromised the whole stakeout, but also to enjoy the deliciousness of having Cormoran’s large strong frame pressed so close to her. There was hardly any gap between them and it all suddenly felt so intimate … and entirely to right!

“Cormoran… I’m sorry…” Robin managed to choke out in a voice that sounded nearer to her own as she tried to regain some composure and grasp on reality.

But Strike interrupted her attempt at an apology, his thumbs gently caressing the side of her cheeks again, his index fingers this time gently brushing her neck. Robin felt her eyes flutter shut and leaned into the feel of his large rough hands framing her face. It felt so good. 

She sighed audibly pressing herself into him and heard the unmistakable sound of a groan emitted from her usually stoic partner. Robin had been far to busy calming herself and guiltily enjoying her burley partners closeness to even contemplate that she herself was having an affect on Strike!

Momentarily she felt Cormoran’s whole frame lean heavily into her, allowing no space between them at all as her back pressed against the cool wall.

“Fuck” his voice ground out and she could feel the sudden ripple of could it be desire passing through him? Though just as quickly it was rapidly replaced by a straightening of his body and obvious resolve and tension in him as he was about to pull back from the embrace.

To pull away and once again reinstate that invisible boundary that lay between them. The daily boundary they negotiated between being business partners, best friends and occasionally being stood on the praecipes of being so much more…

Of falling completely and irrevocably into one another’s arms and becoming quite simply everything to one another!

These moments were conveyed with a gaze held a moment too long, or the soft brush of rough calloused fingers against smooth small hands as she passed him his tea in the chipped ‘I love Cornwall mug’ every morning.

These moments had increasingly become more frequent since Robin had finalised her divorce with Matthew. They were precious fleeting moments which Robin cherished and stored in her memories. Only allowing herself to revisit them when her determination to keep things platonic crumbled and her desire to truly know what it was that lay between them overtook her.

An attraction certainly. Like two moths skirting around an intense burning flame. Both frightened to get to close should they burn. But could it be more than the obvious chemistry that simmered below the surface between them?

Suddenly, as if her panic attack had made her body surge with adrenaline, Robin knew she couldn’t bare waiting any longer. Either way she had to know if the man stood before her felt a fraction of what she felt for him. Robin hardly dared label the feelings she knew she had for Strike. They were deeply ingrained in her, the like she had never experienced before.

She tightened her grip on the lapels of his jacket jerking him back to her.

“Don’t.” Robin whispered barely audibly.

Strike gave a barely perceivable shake of his head.

“Don’t.” She repeated again and knew Strike understood her meaning - ‘don’t move away from me’. Could feel the tightening of his muscles and his hands gently twitching as they slid away from her face.

“Robin…?” She could hear the warning but also the question in his voice as he pulled back. His beautiful, battered face coming into her line of vision. The deep green depths meeting the soft blue-grey of her own. Although not classically handsome it was a face so beloved by her she could memorise it’s every feature without even trying.

It was so easy to recall the crinkles at the corner of his eyes. The chiselled defined jaw covered in his soft scruffy stubble and the odd quirk of his soft full lips when he was amused. Not to mention his dishevelled black curls, the broad expanse of his shoulders, and his powerfully muscled biceps and forearms revealed by his usually rolled up sleeves.

Like his name sake Strike was indeed striking. Robin had long considered him more than attractive. Cormoran Strike was effortlessly sexy, and Robin could finally after all this time admit to herself that she was hopelessly in love with her partner. Could it be he felt the same?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation but from Strikes perspective. I couldn’t resist a bit of Cormoran pining. Warning for Strike language and references to sexual assault.

Strike slipped into the room unnoticed sliding his phone back into the pocket of his trousers. The noise in the room was the first thing to hit him as he surveyed the large ballroom. Low music filled the cavernous room and there was the rumble off conversation and the odd burst of braying affected laughter that permeated the air.   
  
Small groups milled around together. Men besuited and women dressed in a range of elaborate dresses they considered the height of fashion. Champaign flutes were proffered and no doubt gossip was being exchanged in their huddles of the latest scandal to hit their affluent over privileged lives. 

Christ he hated things like this! Full of rich sycophants all eager to outdo each other on the social ladder of wealth and materialism. Feasting like hyenas scavenging on the misfortune of others.

He had been to enough of these events over the years with Charlotte, when she seemed to enjoy wheeling him out on show. ‘A cart horse amongst the thoroughbreds’, he had once heard snidely commented at his appearance! He was considered a target to be patronised, condescended and censured in public by all of those in Charlottes social circuit. Whilst at the same time being covertly viewed with the appraising predatory eyes of the women. 

Strike had been underestimated his whole life. He knew how people viewed him on first encounters. They took in his large battered profile and thought, ‘dumb bastard’. It was a tool to his advantage as it meant people were unguarded around him. He was happy to play along. He had gained many a confession in this way from people unwittingly over the years.

He smiled with some satisfaction at the memory of Dennis Creed, his face incandescent with rage when he realised that he had met his intellectual superior in Strike’s sharp minded shrewdness. 

Bolstered by the sudden memory, and the success of the evening Strike smiled again to himself. They had got what they had come for. Gollum had indeed been stealing. The photos Strike now had stored on his phone, and the video evidence from the planted cameras would be enough evidence to get a conviction.

Their client had paid well for his and Robin’s services and Strike was cheered by this thought. It might even mean he could afford to give their contractors and Pat a small bonus. A nod to their loyalty and dedication which had helped further the agencies reputation, and indeed made them the number one detective agency in London!

With that thought Strike’s eyes scanned the room until they fell on the only sight he considered worth his attention now.

Robin. 

It took little effort to find her amongst the throng. Strike didn’t hold with anything deemed remotely spiritual but even he felt it was as though there was an inbuilt connection between himself and his partner. An invisible force that enabled him to physically sense her presence in a room almost imediately.   
  
Fuck, she looked so beautiful tonight!   
  
It was becoming increasingly more and more difficult to hide his attraction to Robin. It had took all his self-control to not let his jaw drop to the floor when he had first seen her that evening. She was clad in a simple, elegant black dress which seemed to accentuate every beautiful curve of her body. Her amber golden hair was tied back in a chignon, and her throat was adorned by a simple necklace he had given her for Christmas that year made from Cornish gold.

Strike had always though Robin attractive. She was by his own reluctant admission in the early days of their acquaintance a ‘sexy girl’. Though now, broken from the constraints of her unhappy marriage and the control of Matthew (‘the twat’) she was positively breath taking.

Throughout the long unhappy year of her ill-fated marriage she had been rendered painfully thin. Her eyes either sporting dark circles underneath through lack of sleep, or red and puffy from her obviously distress. More times than he cared to remember Strike had wanted to ram his fist into ‘the twats’ arrogant, smug handsome face for what he was putting Robin through. Strike had told himself at the time he would have done the same for any women.

It was a lie.

The pain of watching Robin’s marriage disintegrate and the affect it was clearly having on her both physically and mentally had been one of the hardest things Strike had ever had to witness. It was as though her pain became his own, like an invisible knife twisting in his gut.

He blamed himself and his stupid boundaries for her inability to share the true extent of her emotional state. What he suspected now to be a subtle form of manipulative psychological abuse she was suffering at the hands of her husband.   
  
That was past now though, and although Robin had always been beautiful, she was positively radiant now her divorce had been finalised. She frequently took Strike’s breath away. It was more than the mere physical beauty of her newly regained curves. It was as though the shackles that had bound her had finally been shaken, and the true beauty of her sharp mind, intelligence, determination and tenacity mixed with her inherent goodness and kindness was now able to shine through.

Robin, quite simply was iridescent and the most beautiful person inside and out Cormoran had ever known!  
  
… And he was hopelessly and completely utterly fucked because of it!

Watching her now though however Strike sensed immediately that something was not right. Robin was stood at the periphery of the hall talking with a tall, sleek looking gentleman who was leaning in rather to close in Strikes opinion. She had a tension in her body and a look on her face which though subtle he recognised as disdain.

Whatever was being said to her had clearly rattled her and Cormoran without hesitation began to make his way towards her. His bulk and singlemindedness to reach her quickly vanquishing anyone who stood in the way. He cut a clear path through the crowd, caring little for any annoyance or offence her might cause in the process.   
  
Just as he began to get nearer the man who had been talking to her moved away. Strike watched as Robin slipped quickly through a door to her left her hand clasped tightly against her chest.

Shit!

Now he was nearer Strike suddenly realised the extent of Robin’s destress. It had been a long time since he had witnessed Robin having an anxiety attack. The smell of exhaust fumes, an embankment and his arm slung around her thin frame was conjured to the forefront of Strike’s mind.

Shit!

Cormoran sped up now. Reaching the door mere moments after Robin. He yanked it open to reveal a large hallway dominated by a grand spiralling staircase. His eyes scanned the room. Robin couldn’t have gone far!

That was when he heard the sharp wheezing intake of breath coming from an alcove under the staircase. He felt a piercing sensation to his heart as he rushed forward to find his ashen faced partner breathing as though it were her last dying breath. 

  
Cormoran reached Robin’s side within seconds and instinctively reached for her, his large hands gently grasping her hips. He tried to ignore the sensuous curve of her hips and the silky feel of the fabric beneath his fingers. Using his large frame he carefully shielded her from anyone who might enter the hallway. 

“Robin..?” he muttered gruffly as he gently began to guide her back further under the alcove. He kept going until they were practically pressed against the wall. 

Cormoran moved one of his large hands from her hip, gently using his thumb and forefinger to capture her chin and tilt her head. He needed to get Robin to make eye contact with him. Her beautiful grey-blue eyes finally fell on his and there was to his relief a spark of recognition that broke through her obvious distress. 

“Shhh, It’s OK. Robin, look at me ….”

The strangled gasps continued and Strike took in her panicked appearance pausing momentarily. He was about to cross a boundary. A boundary which he didn’t think he would ever recover from, but the sight of Robin rendered him incapable of fighting any longer to maintain any sense of distance or propriety.

It was as though he himself was experiencing her pain. His heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach unable to bare her distress. Cormoran dipped his head pressing his forehead against hers. He could feel her ragged gasps against his own face, and his sense of smell was immediately filled with the scent of narciso and roses.

“Cormoran..” He heard her gasp.   
  
Her soft pink lips were so close to his own it made his heart physically jolt and ache. He wondered if Robin could hear his heart pounding against her. Their bodies were pressed so close together now.

If Robin objected to this nearness she showed no sign as her eyes fluttered shut, and her hands shot up to grip the lapels of his suit jacket. Cormoran’s mind immediately wondered to the only other time he had held Robin this close once before. The memory of the ivory fabric of her wedding dress, the smell of Yorkshire roses and the stairs at Swinton Hall flooded his mind. 

Strike felt a lump forming in his throat as Robin gripped him tightly to her. It were as though she was afraid he would let her go. There’s no danger of that he thought. The only danger now was that he would never let her go!

He had promised himself after her divorce was over he would never let her fall again. He would always be there at her side when she needed him the most. Even if he painfully had to watch her give her heart to another, as she undoubtedly would one day. He vowed he would stand on the periphery and always be there for her. 

She could never be his, but his heart would always unquestionably be hers.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay darling just breathe.” Strike whispered softly, hardly noticing the endearment that slipped so easily from his lips. Both of his hands moved to cup her face and his large thumbs brushed the apples of her cheeks.  
  
In all the fleeting inappropriate thoughts he had, had about Robin over the years he wondered why the feel of the smooth soft skin of her cheeks had not been part of them. 

“Count with me Robin. I’m here now. Listen to me.” He spoke softly. 

Instinctively without thought his large calloused thumbs brushed against her skin again in what he hoped was a soothing motion.

Strike began to count slowly. Although Robin did not repeat the numbers he could hear her trying to regulate her breathing with his own. He took slow measured breaths, barely representative of his own overwrought emotions at having her pressed so closely against him.

Cormoran was unsure of how much time passed but slowly Robin’s breathing became calmer, the slight tremor in her arms had begun to dissipate and Strike could feel the tension beginning to ebb away. 

“That’s it.” Strike gently coaxed his voice deep and calm. 

“Cormoran… I’m sorry…” Robin managed to choke out in a voice that sounded nearer to her own as she appeared to regaining some composure.

But Strike interrupted her attempt at an apology. He couldn’t bare to hear her apologise. 

  
Not for this. 

  
No never for this. 

  
The people who should apologise were those that had caused her to suffer these attacks. They were the ones that should apologise and fucking pay! The bastard who had raped her when she was just nineteen, and Matthew fucking Cunliffe for his part in her distress over the years.

He also if he was honest blamed himself. Theirs was a dangerous job. Robin had frequently been in harms way over the years of them working together. Psychotic killers, rapists and gun toting art thieves had all played a part . It was a fact that had never sat comfortably with Strike but something he had had to learn to accept. To molly-coddle Robin and try to protect her and keep her from harm and the job she loved would be the biggest insult to their friendship he could possibly imagine. 

Strike couldn’t resist brushing his thumbs gently against her cheeks again. Caressing the soft skin with tenderness and reverence. The index finger of his large hands had spread now to her neck. It and was all he could do to resist burying his nose into the base of her throat, nuzzling his scruffy face against her scented skin as he had longed to do for so long.

Cormoran waited for the inevitable as Robin would disentangle herself from his grasp, and how bereft he would feel without her in his arms.

But it never came. Instead he felt Robin press herself into him so literally no space lay between them, her breasts crushing themselves against his torso.

‘FUCK’!!

He couldn’t help it as a soft groan escaped his lips. Momentarily Cormoran allowed himself to lean into her and the luxury of imagining an entirely different scenario where they were more than just business partners, but partners in every sense of the word entered his mind!

A deep unbearable ache filled his heart at the impossibility of such a scenario. How could beautiful Robin ever want a fat, fucked up old cripple like him? How could she ever want his scared and damaged heart and body? 

At the thought of this he managed to get a grip on his crumbling sanity and made to pull back. He straightening his body with resolve to once again reinstate the painful boundaries that must exist to protect Robin from his own delusional desires. 

The desire to be more to her.

The desire to be everything to one another. 

But instead of Robin moving away he felt her grip on the lapel of his jacket tighten as she jerked him forcefully back to her.

“Don’t.” Robin whispered barely audibly.   
Strike gave a barely perceivable shake of his head. Surely he had misheard her. 

“Don’t.” She repeated again. Leaving Strike in no doubt of her meaning. ‘Don’t move away from me’. His muscles tightened hardly trusting himself and what he was sure was about to happen between them. 

“Robin…?” He asked softly. His tone both a question and a warning as he pulled back to look at her face. He had to see her eyes, to try to understand exactly what she was feeling. Surely this was just a reaction to her panic attack. The need to feel someone close to comfort her. It couldn’t possibly be more than that…

But what he saw shocked him to his core. Her eyes were like a mirror reflecting back at him his own jumbled emotions. A heady mix of tenderness, longing and dare he hope love? The irises of her soft blue-grey eyes were completely blown by her dilated pupils full of desire, and her breath was once again ragged, but for an entirely different reason to the one before.

Strikes eyes fell instinctively to the soft pout of her full pink lips. Lips he had longed to claim, explore and tease with his own. 

Jesus fucking Christ she was so beautiful.  
He had never in his life wanted anything more than to kiss her.

That was the last coherent thought that managed to pass through his mind. Strike reflected later he didn’t know who moved first but suddenly her lips were upon his and he knew without a shadow of a doubt her was lost forever. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .... the kiss! No more needs saying. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 3: Panic

Robin was unsure who had initiated the kiss but she couldn’t have cared less as she felt Cormoran’s lips gently graze her own. His lips were soft and hesitant at first, gently caressing hers with a tentative reverence as if gaging her response. Robin’s heart constricted and she felt a flood of warmth and joy seep through her entire body at the tenderness he was clearly displaying.

They continued to gently and chastely kiss, their mouths moving together softly until Strike slowly pulled back . His expression was soft and unguarded, and he made no attempt to hide how much the kiss had clearly affected his usually stoic equilibrium.

Strike was an expert at keeping his emotions under wraps. However, now his face was like an open book. He looked earnest and almost afraid as he gazed into her eyes begging her silently to understand him. Begging her to see the reflection of his own heart in his beautiful stormy green eyes. 

The back of his hand gently grazed her cheek tenderly, as if she was somehow something to be revered, worshipped … adored.

“This ok?” He whispered softly a flash of fear and naked vulnerability passing fleetingly through his usually confident countenance. 

This was a man thought Robin who had slept with socialites, models and burlesque dancers. Beautiful, confident women who had all desired Strike and would easily captivate any man. He could have had any of them, yet here he was with her! A rural girl from a small backwater village in Yorkshire … and he was unsure she would want him!! 

The realisation made Robins heart jolt and constrict. She delightedly marvelled at how all the carefully erected walls he had spent years building around himselfhad fallen away in a matter of minutes ... for her! 

Strike was opening himself up to her, leaving himself raw, vulnerable and completely at her mercy. His heart was openly on display reflected clearly in his eyes. They revealed the true Cormoran Strike - the gentle, kind, sweet vulnerable man beneath the gruff taciturn exterior. 

“God, yes! I’ve never been more sure of anything.’ She whispered. ‘Please Cormoran. Please don’t stop…” 

Robins voice sounded completely wrecked and breathy, clearly betraying the affect his proximity was having on her. The panic attack that had consumed her moments before had long been forgotten and now all that mattered was the man stood before her, physically if not verbally offering her his heart.

Strike let out an audible sigh of relief and pressed himself against her in response to her deceleration. Robin felt herself immediately melt into his strong hard body. All the months, even years she had longed for this moment could not have prepared her for the intense desire that was now coursing through her. 

Robin was determined to reassure him and not to leave Strike in any doubt how badly she wanted this...

How badly she wanted him. 

She leaned into the Kiss as once again Cormoran’s mouth met hers less hesitantly this time. Her lips became more insistent against his and she heard a soft moan rumble through him. In response to her obvious desire Strike’s large rough hands came up to cup her face sliding into the soft silky strands of her auburn gold hair, cradling the back of her head tenderly. 

Gently he tipped her face to gain a better angle, deepening the kiss further. Robin felt like she was on fire from the inside out as desire coursed through her body seeming to lick every single nerve ending, making even the cells in her body sing and vibrate with want and need  for this beautiful, strong loyal man. 

At the feel of his tongue gently sweeping her bottom lip Robin without hesitation opened her mouth allowing him access. Their tongues met for the first time, languidly stroking gently against each other causing another physical jolt of pleasure to pass through them.

Cormoran’s mouth tasted of champagne and was hot, warm and inviting and they both moaned this time at the sudden intensity and deepening of the kiss. Robin slid her hands up and around Cormoran’s neck her fingers tangling in the soft curls at his nape, desperate to be even nearer to him. She delighted at finally feeling how soft his hair was beneath her fingers and against the starched collar of his shirt.

Strike kissed in the same way he approached an investigation with a passionate, thorough attention to detail. It were as though he was determined to explore every inch of her mouth, gently teasing her senses with every stroke of his tongue and the softness of his full lips.

Robin had only ever been with Matthew and she suspected kissing was viewed as a necessary precursor to the ‘main event’ in Matts eyes! He had liked to dominate and Robin had often felt like she was clinging to a piece of drift wood in a rough sea, accepting her fate and allowing him to dictate any intimacy they shared to suit his own needs and desires rather than her own.

This kiss was nothing like that at all!

Strike was generous and giving, neither taking the lead or relinquishing control to her. Instead it was as though they had been together like this forever. That this was not their first kiss, but that they were practiced lovers, skilled and knowing in how to please one other. They both instinctively seemed to respond to each other’s cues, delighting in the mutual pleasure they were clearly giving each other as they kissed with abandon.

This was no simple kiss. It was an expression of long felt emotions, mutual respect and desire. Fleetingly Robin thought  it was without doubt a physical declaration of love.

It felt like they had kissed for hours, until they both reluctantly parted for air. But if Robin had been afraid Strike would push her away once he regained some sense of equilibrium, (regaining control under the realisation they were supposed to be on surveillance) she was gladly mistaken. 

Instead Cormoran’s lips began to tenderly blaze a slow seductive trail along her jaw line and down her throat. Robin moaned with pleasure as he nuzzled his scruffy face into the column of her throat breathing in the scent of Narciso and roses.

His deep voice broke the silence of the cavernous hallway reverberating against her skin.

“Christ Ellacott! Have you any idea what you do to me?” He grumbled, followed swiftly by him gently sucking and then grazing the skin at the juncture of her neck and collar bone with his teeth.

“Probably the same as your doing to me.” Robin gasped softy at his ministrations, her fingers carding through his hair once again.

“Fuck! Robin, your so beautiful… I … I’ve wanted this … wanted you for so long.” He whispered, finally removing his face from her neck and gently brushing his nose against hers. The intimacy and tender affection of the gesture sent another jolt of desire through Robin igniting an almost unbearable ache between her legs at the juncture of her sex. 

“How long? … Why?” She mumbled nonsensically. It was as though her senses were swimming and she could barely muster a coherent sentence.

“Why would you want me?” she finally whispered softly.

“Fucksake Robin. I think you’ve got this all backwards. S’my line. Why the hell would you want me more like?” He rumbled, finally lifting his head away from her face just far enough so she could look into his eyes.

Robin slid her hands from his hair cupping his scruffy face with her long slim fingers, revelling in the softness of his beard beneath her touch. She almost wept with relief at the look in his eyes. Not only was there clear desire and passion reflected in their intelligent depths but also a clear amusement as the corners of his crinkled eyes.

This was familiar.

This was good.

Despite the cataclysmic events of the past few moments there it was …

The banter and the gentle teasing that had become the hall mark of their friendship. Especially recently after the Bamborough  case. Whatever had passed between them tonight whatever revelation of feelings were to follow they would both be ok!

They had not destroyed anything tonight with their passion fuled kisses. They were merely building upon the foundations of what was already the single most important relationship they had ever had in their lives.

‘My Robin’. He whispered softly. ‘My, beautiful, exceptional sweet Robin.’

With a single quirk of his lips, the raising of an eyebrow and crinkling at the corner of his eyes Cormoran wordlessly, and oh so effortlessly, knowingly confirmed the path they would now follow.

There was no need to panic or fear the future. Whatever their relationship grew into at the core of it would always be the deep-rooted respect, admiration and esteem they held each other in. Like a plant required the sun and people needed oxygen to breath they were integral to one another in every way and always would be.

Nothing would change that.

They were and always would be best friends first and foremost.

However now they were facing the beautiful realisation that they could be more. So much more!

They were on the praecipes of the endless possibilities that stretched out before them. Possibilities which made Robin’s heart leap for joy whilst weeping with happiness. Now there was the new hope that they could take that final step together, walking side by side in life hand in hand.

The journey that followed would no doubt be full of bumps along the way, but they would face them together. It was a path that would no doubt see them healing slowly together from the damage caused by others. A path that finally allowed them to love each other unreservedly without any barriers or fears.

To love each other as they had never loved before.  


Deeply, honestly, wholly and completely! Finally undeniably becoming everything to one another as they were always meant to be from the moment they met five years ago on the stairs at Denmark Street. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ... chapter 4 will be unashamedly smutty so if that’s not your ‘bag’ it’s probably best to leave things here. 
> 
> I may write a sequel to this fiction depending on how people feel so let me know. Thank you for reading and all the lovely comments.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cormoran and Robin arrive back at Denmark Street. A few things need to be discussed after their unexpected kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry folks. This chapter did not go in the direction I originally planned so I’ll have to add an extra chapter. I hope you like it. Please leave comments if you have time. Thank you.

Strike can hardly believe he is here now in this moment with Robin. He’s sure he must be dreaming! If he is he hopes he never wakes up! 

Their bodies are so close together no distance exists between them. It’s like they were always meant to be like this! Wrapped around each other so perfectly, like two shadows merged together, beautifully blurred and soft with no edges.

As soon as the door of Strikes tiny attic flat had clicked shut behind them they had wordlessly fell into one another. Robin’s arms are round his neck, her back resting firmly against the door. His large body is pressed into hers, the contours of her soft curves moulded deliciously against him.

Fuck she feels perfect!

Their lips are gently once again exploring each other’s. His hands are back in her silky hair. He can’t stop touching her! Soft moans are escaping both of them and Strike is sure that finally for the first time in his life he is exactly where he is meant to be. Nothing in his entire life has ever felt so right or as good as this moment with Robin.

Strike feels like he is riding the crest of a beautiful wave of emotions. He’s no longer desperately fighting against the torrent of thoughts and feelings he has long kept in check in relation to his partner and best friend. He has finally found his way home.

It was never a place.

It was always her.

The beautiful, incredible, wonderful women in his arms now kissing him unreservedly.

His Robin...

God he hopes so!!

The journey from their surveillance to Denmark Street passed in a hazy blur. Robin tucked into his side in the cab, her thigh pressed against his and their fingers intertwined.Neither wanting to break physical contact after the intimacy of the kisses they shared under the stairway. The barriers he spent years erecting and maintaining are well and truly down. Strike knows there is no return from this. Nor did he want there to be. Now he knew how soft her skin felt, the intoxicating scent of her and how she tasted.

Christ! The only thing he has left to question is why he hadn’t kissed her sooner!

Strike is filled with a deep complete and utter heart felt joy. The kind he had never in his life felt before. It’s like his heart has been suffused with a sweet slow warmth that is spreading out and filling his entire body, making him feel boneless, weightless and lighter than he has every felt before.

Is this what true happiness feels like?

Is this what real love feels like?

But beneath these rapidly firing thoughts and heartfelt joy, is a treacherous voice, needling away at him in the back of his mind. _‘ Its not real’_ it whispers viciously. _‘She doesn’t want you, you stupid fat fuck!She’s not meant for you. She’ll regret it in the morning’._

The voice is getting louder and louder clammering in his head until its causing Cornorans heart to stutter and he drags his lips reluctantly from Robin’s.

The final voice as their lips part is distinct and takes on the cool, cold austere voice of Charlotte. An echo of a memory. A vicious parting shot spoken to him after that final cataclysmic row that has ended their turbulent on-off relationship. _‘Your broken. Useless! Not even a whole man anymore! Your very existence was an accident darling, a joke! Who could possibly ever love or want you!’_

Strikes eyes flutter at the painful memory but he forced himself to casts a wary look at Robin. She looks completely wrecked. Her hair is mussed from where his finger have been carding through its silky strands. Her lips are swollen from their kisses and glistening in the light cast from the streetlights outside.  


Robin’s chest is rising and falling rapidly her breath ragged. But the most noticeable thing about her is the look of desire and soft yet intense yearning in her eyes.

She isn’tlooking at him likes he’s broken. 

Her eyes he’s sure mirror his own. They are looking at each other with amazed wonder. Like they are everything to one another. She has never looked more beautiful and he knows without any doubt he loves her with every fibre of his being.

Christ he could fall into those cloudy blue depths and happily drown in themforever.But he can’t. No yet. Not until he is sure this is what she really wants. That in the cold hard light of day she will not wake and look at him with regret and disdain. He couldn’t bare that. Wouldn’t survive it. He’s never been a cowardly fuck and he’s not starting now! So  he takes a deep breath and dives straight in speaking the words he knows are going to change the course of his life forever.

‘Robin. I need you to be very sure that this is what you want.’ He pauses, steels himself then dives right in. Uncharacteristically inarticulate, but honest and open for the first time in years.‘I’m not just talking about tonight. I’m a greedy bastard. I want it all with you. All your nights, all your mornings and everything inbetween. If you were to change your mind ...’He looks down now at the floor and barely audibly whispers. ‘I’m not sure I could survive loosing you.’

It’s agony waiting for her to answer. She tilts her head up at him and her hands that were still wrapped around his neck slide down as she cups his face forcing his eyes to rest upon her.

‘Yes Cormoran.’ She smiles softly up at him. ‘Have you any idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say something like that.’ She whispers looking up at him earnestly. ‘I’ve wanted you for so long Cormoran.’

‘This.’Cormoran indicated the small room, and slaps his false leg with a large calloused hand. ‘This is all I can offer you. All I’ll ever probably amount to. You deserve so much more Robin. More than I can offer. ’ He half sobs choked with emotion now that he is so close to what he has wanted, longed for.

Robin forces his face up to look at her again and is met with her furious eyes, burning with anger at him. He’s seen this look before. It’s a look of determination that Robin shows when she is certain of something and won’t back down.  


He should be afraid but instead his heart leaps with hope.

Robins voice is quiet but firm and unwavering. ‘Don’t you dare tell me Cormoran Blue Strike what I deserve. Don’t you dare diminish yourself like that. I won’t take anyone speaking badly about you. Especially you! Do you know what I see when I look at you.’

Cormoran shakes his head slightly as she seems to expect and indeed demand a response. 

‘I see the most wonderful, beautiful, kind and strongest personI’ve ever known. The _Only_ person who has ever looked at me and _Completely_ understood me. My own bloody family and a man I was with for nearly a decade didn’t understand me as well as you did within a month of knowing me. _You_ saw me Cormoran. _You_ actually saw me. The real me. I was living a lie till I met you. Nobody could ever understand me, encourage me and get me the way you do. So don’t you dare stand there and tell me your not good enough! How could I not want you. How could I not hope you will be mine.’

‘How could I not bloody notice how special you are Robin. How the fuck did nobody else!’ Strike counters. ‘From the moment I met you, you shon so bright. Your so quick, the way you see things, reason things our. Your fucking brilliant! Beautiful inside and out.’

Strike takes Robins small slim hand in his own large calloused one and brings it to his chest. He presses it against his heart cupping her hand and holding it there.   


‘This is yours my darling, beautiful, wonderful exceptional Robin. This fucked up, scarred and damaged heart is yours. It always was. It always will be.’ 

The tears in Robins eyes are freely falling now and Cornoran uses his free hand to gently swipe them away with his thumb. Robin peers up at him, her mouth turning up into a shy but mischievous smile.

‘Then for fucksake can we please stop talking and can you finally make love to me Strike.’

His heart stutters, and he can’t help barking out a laugh as he takes her hand firmly in his and tugs her impatiently towards his bedroom. He is rewarded by a giggle of delight, and Cormoran Strike thinks it might just be the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strike and Robin together. Strike style language and Smut. So may not be for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I’ve struggled with this chapter. Hope it’s ok.

Strike entered the bedroom first, Robin’s hand still clasped firmly in his own. The door swung shut softly behind them, the large double bed filling the tiny room. All those years of painful longing spent watching each other in far from satisfactory relationships was now over. All they had both longed for was finally about to happen. 

To be able to touch each other. To murmur the words they had both wanted to say. To show each other physically the deepest feelings in each other’s hearts was nothing short of beautiful.

“C’mere.” Strike growled tugging Robin firmly into him and capturing her lips with a gentle yet fierce intensity. His soft uneven lips moved seductively over Robins making her heart swoop and her sex ache with desire for him.

Robin wanted Cormoran more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. But her desire was laced with anxiety. She had only ever been with one man, (not including her attacker... and she certainly didn’t include him!) This meant the net sum of her sexual experience at the age of thirty was with just one man ... and what a shit he turned out to be!

To say sex had not been entirely satisfactory with Matthew would be an understatement. There had of course been ‘pleasant’ interludes. Though Robin was certain that the word ‘pleasant’ was not exactly a ringing endorsement either! 

Then in the last painful year when they were married sex had become an obligation. A necessary act to try to plaster over the large cracks that were appearing like gaping chasms in their marriage.

Strike on the other hand was experienced. Robin had witnessed the string of beautiful women who had attached themselves to him over the years. Heard second hand the ringing endorsements of his sexual prowess from Guy Somé after his night with Ciara Porter ...a bloody model for gods sake!

She thinks of all the little comments made by Matthew over the years. Gradually eroding away at her already diminished sense of self. The constant assessment of her weight, what she wore, the freckles on her shoulders he had joked about being like a ‘dot-to-dot’ puzzle. The ‘ghostly’ parlour of her skin to mention but a few.

Robin had taken it because deep down she had always felt she deserved these comments ... and more. That she was damaged goods. Some how responsible for her attack at university. Part of her had felt she should be grateful that Matthew had wanted her at all after what had happened to her. All these thoughts whizzed through her brain in quick succession.

As if sensing her sudden tension Strike pulled his lips from Robin’s.

“Relax.” He soothed softly “Robin, darling, nothing happens tonight unless you want it to. If all you want is to hold one another and sleep, that’s bloody wonderful. I’ll still be the luckiest bastard they ever lived.” He looked down at her, his eyes twinkling softly in the dim light.

“What if I’m a disappointment.” She blurted out.

_Shit_!

She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She wanted to look away from him but couldn’t. She was caught in his gaze, green and intense like a stormy ocean.

Strikes eyes had widened, then a fleeting look of what Robin thought was anger passed his features. She was not wrong, but the anger was not directed at her as Strike was thinking instead ‘ _what the fuck did ‘that twat’do to her!’_

He’s not stupid. He doesn’t need Robin to tell him that other than her attacker ‘the twat ’ was probably the only man she had ever had sex with. That this was a big deal to her, made probably worse by the fact that they had both he suspects spent possibly years longing for this very moment.

The anticipation and expectation of tonight we’re making Strike nervous as well. He knew the years of subtle emotional abuse Robin had been subjected to were not going to be fixed over night. But he was damned if he wasn’t going to do everything he could to make her feel amazing tonight ... if she’d let him!

He would move Heaven and Earth to be everything she wanted him to be. Everything she needed him to be. Tonight and forever more if she’d have him!

Cormoran took a deep breath and softly caressed her cheek, marvelling again at how soft her skin was beneath his touch. He knew what he was about to say could alter the direction of not only this evening but their entire lives.

“How could you ever be a disappointment!” He rumbled softly, barely above a whisper. “Jesus Robin, look at you. Your so beautiful inside and out. Let me show you how fucking sexy you are, mind and body. Let me show you how you make me feel...How I burn for you.” His last words were whispered, intense and gravelly, his pupils beseeching her to believe him.

Robin thought her whole body had turned into molten liquid. “Oh god” she whispered her voice barely recognisable as her own. The doubts she had were suddenly being consumed by a fierce burning need for the man in front of her.

A deep ache was throbbing at her core and Robin could physically feel herself dripping with arousal now. Which would be embarrassing if it were not for the way Cormorans eyes were still fixed on her searing her with their heat. She had never in her life felt as turned on as she did right now!

Robin let out a sound that was a mixture of a whimper and a sob. They reached for each other simultaneously their lips crashing together enthusiastically hungry and full of longing. Strike’s hands which until now had remained respectfully ‘north of the border’ were now sliding round her drawing her closer to him. His hands were large but gentle as they grazed her sensuously, sliding along her hips, up her sides then under the curve of her breasts.

Whilst still kissing her passionately Cormoran gently teased her, brushing his large thumbs against her already hardened nipples causing Robin to gasp out loud. Strikes gentle ministrations sent a physical tremor of heated desire through her whole body. It was as though every nerve ending was on fire for him.

Refusing to be passive In what she suspected was going to be the best night of her life Robin found her hands shyly sliding up Strikes broad chest. She could feel the smooth fabric of his crisp suit and the rapidly thundering beat of his heart under her hands.

That was not the only thing she could feel either! Strikes now obvious and very impressive erection was pressed against her stomach making her ache for him even more. Robin couldn’t help whimpering again imagining how he was going to feel inside her, how he would fill her and ease the burning ache between her legs. She couldn’t resist pressing herself into him making Cormoran hiss softly against her mouth.

“Fuck...Robin.” Strike rumbled against her cheek where his scruffy face was now resting. His breath was coming out in short hard pants.

Further emboldened by the obvious affect she was having on Strike she ran her tongue over the scar on his top lip as she has dreamed about doing for so long. A low husky groan escaped Strikes soft uneven lips and he slid his tongue into her mouth plundering her with slow languorous sweeps.

Unhurried, insistent and so erotic.

They carried on kissing, exploring one another unreservedly, the sensation causing heated moans to escape them both. Eventually Cormoran pulled back, his hair even more rumpled than usual, disheveled waves standing up on end, his eyes wrecked.

“Turn around.” Strike commanded gently kissing and nuzzling along the edge of her jaw line seductively.

Robin didn’t hesitate to do as he asked. She could feel him shift behind her, his breath soft and warm on her skin making the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end with anticipation. She had never liked people being close behind her and Strike was just so big. But rather than making her anxious it only made Robin feel more aroused and safer than she thought she has ever felt in her entire life.

Robin had seen him unleash the full force of his considerable strength. He had used those large hands, hard muscled arms and broad shoulders to beat others near senseless. Yet in this moment he was soft, sweet, gentle and tender. A side to him he rarely if ever showed to anyone ... except to her. He was being so open, unguarded and loving.

All for her!

Robin’s heart constricted. She trusted him with all her heart. This thought alone made her eyes pool tears of joy.

Strike pressed himself into her back and gathered her hair. He gently swept it over her shoulder exposing the low cut v of her dresses neckline and the soft expanse of ivory pale skin revealed to his hungry eyes.

His lips sensually began to kiss the newly exposed skin nuzzling with his scruffy jaw. The combination of his soft lips and stubble made Robin feel weak at the knees. It was almost as though Cormoran could hear her every though as he carefully steadied her against his broad chest by wrapping one muscular arm around her. His large hand splayed flat against her stomach. His long fingers just resting shy of her sex sending spirals of heat through her again.

Robin was panting now. It was as though he was turning her into a molten puddle of heat and fire, burning and desperate for more of him.

Desperate for all of him!

Strikes was kissing a slow trail down the flesh exposed by the low back of her dress. His soft black hair gently swept across her skin, his nose brushing against her as if he was trying to breath in the very essence of her.

“May I?” He asked softly as his free hand gently came to rest on the concealed zip gently tweaking it playfully. Robin loved he had asked her consent and nodded vigorously, but Strike shook his head softly in response.

“Words darling, please. I need to hear you. I need to know your with me Robin.” He rumbled softly his lips still pressed against her.

“Yes. Oh God yes. Please Cormoran.” She all but sobbed. 

Slowly she could feel the zipper being pulled loose, his calloused knuckles grazing her softly. His lips were following its slow steady progress as more and more skin was revealed to his avid eyes and lips. When the zip could finally go no further Cormoran loosened his hold around her using both hands to slide under the unzipped fabric pushing upwards against her bared flesh until he reached her shoulders.

Strike paused briefly as if to wait for any objection. When non came he pushed the fabric to the side causing it to fall from her shoulders with ease pooling at her feet.

Cormoran exhaled loudly. His lips instantly landing on her right shoulder. Kissing, licking and gently biting the softly freckled flesh she had detested all her life ... up until now.

“Beautiful.” Robin heard him whisper. “So beautiful.”

It’s was as though he couldn’tget enough of her as he hungrily explored her skin, before placing his hands on her hips and turning her round to face him, stepping back to admire her. 

Robin was now only clad in her blush pink bra, matching knickers and high heeled black shoes. She should have felt vulnerable and self conscious stood in front of Strike, revealed to him for the first time.

But she wasn’t. 

His eyes were unabashedly sweeping her body taking in every detail. Her generous breasts, how she dipped and curved sensually and her long graceful legs. His eyes were unmistakably full of heat and desire until they finally rested upon hers. 

Nobody had ever looked at Robin like that before.Like she was the only woman in the universe. It filled Robin with a feeling so wonderfully empowering. That this man should look at her in this way as though she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

“Jesus Christ!” Cormoran managed to finally speak. His mouth dry, his voice horse with emotion. “Jesus fucking Christ Robin. Your perfect.”

She smiled shyly up at him and watched as his off centre lips curved into a crooked smile and he raised one eyebrow at her. Cormoran’s eyes were crinkled at the corners and he looked suddenly almost endearingly boyish. 

“It appears I’m little over dressed Robin. Think you could help me with that?” His words were playful. A deliberate attempt to shift the focus from Robins sudden shyness and near nakedness. A deliberate attempt to put her at ease.

If she hadn’t loved him before she knew with certainty she did now!

Matthew had always been to impatient, preferring to remove his own clothing not wanting to feel some how emasculated or loose any control or dominance in the bedroom. But now Strike was stood before her, all six foot three, battered gorgeous inch of him asking her to take the lead. To take control.

It was so bloody sexy!

Robin moved forward standing before him. First loosening his tie. Her fingers trembled slightly with nervous anticipation. A slow smile spread over Cormoran’s face and as it became apparent he was not going to grow inpatient with her fumbling attempts she gained confidence.

She managed to slowly with Cormoran’s help shrug off his suit jacket which landed with a thump to join her dress on the floor along with his tie. Next she began to unfasten the buttons on his shirt. Slowly inch by sexy inch was revealed to Robin’s gaze. As she reached the last button as Strike shrugged his shirt off and almost shyly regarded her through his thick dark lashes, trying to gage her reaction to him.

Robin’s eyes swept over his naked torso. The powerful broad shoulders, his chest covered with soft dark hair. Small flat dark nipples, a slightly furry belly and a trail of hair which continued below the belt of his trousers. He was so diiferent from what she had been used to. His chest was broad and strong and more toned than she had imagined. It was scarred in places, one of which was definitely from a bullet, making Robins heart constrict painfully. Each scar represented a time he could have died and been lost to her. Each scar represented the man he was. Brave, strong, determined and unflinching in his quest for truth and justice.

Robin swallowed down the sudden urge to cry. Instead she focused on how overtly masculine he was. How strong, sexy and attractive she found him. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Gently she began to run her fingers along the hair on his chest. It was surprisingly soft and springy and she couldn’t for the life of her stop touching him now she had started. Throughout all this Cormoran had remained still. Allowing her time to explore, until eventually he broke the silence.

“Like what you see Ellacott?” He growled. His eyes twinkling, his mouth quirked at the edges smiling maybe a little smugly at her obvious appreciation.

“Can I reserve judgement till I’ve seen the rest of you.” Robin managed to quip cheekily raising her eyebrow and causing Cormoran to bark out loud with laughter.

“Little Minx.” He grumbled capturing her waist with one large hand and pulling her into a hug. “Might need to deal with the leg before we go any further.” He whispered softly into her hair. “That ok?”

Robin caught the slight catch in his voice. She sensed his sudden discomfort over his prosthesis and couldn’t bare it. The thought that any one had ever disparaged him or judged him because of it made her both angry and sad. Gently shifting she cupped his stumbled jaw with one hand and looked at him, the love and warmth radiating from her eyes.

“Perfect. I can finally take these bloody shoes off their killing me.”

Cormoran smiled gratefully at her. They both sank onto the bed focusing on their own individual task. Robin quickly dispensed with her heels as Strike unbuckled his belt, kicked off his trousers and boxers impatiently and began to deal with the gel pad and buckles of his prosthesis. He could hear Robin behind him shuffling back onto his bed.

Strike was overwhelmed with a deep feeling of warmth and gratitude. Robin accepted him. Scarred, hairy one legged grumpy bastard that he was! He hadn’t failed to see the heat in her gaze and her shy exploration as she had undressed him. And here she was now somehow in the kind, delicate, gentle way that Robin had knowingly giving him space to remove his prosthesis and avoid him any embarrassment. Cormoran swallowed hard, overcome with emotion. 

God he loved her! 

Once the prosthesis was removed he rolled himself onto the bed to find Robin waiting for him. 

She was completely naked! 

He felt as though all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Robin’s red-gold hair was splayed seductively over his pillow, her soft lips looked swollen already from the kisses they had shared. Her beautiful blue-grey eyes like a stormy Cornish sea were fixed on his. She was faintly flushed, her eyelashes fluttering shyly. 

Strike couldn’t help but drink in the sight of her laid there before him. She was so perfect and so unaware of her own natural beauty it made his heart ache. He wanted to touch every inch of her. To worship every delicious bit of soft creamy skin with his hands and mouth. 

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought this could ever be a possibility. Non of the fleeting thoughts he had briefly permitted himself over the years could have prepared him for this. She was even more beautiful then he had ever imagined.

Strike dipped his head and captured Robins lips with his own in a delicate soft dance of mouths, lips, teeth and tongues. He couldn’t resist pressing himself into her and trailing one large hand down the soft expanse of her back to the curve of her backside, cupping her and tugging her in even closer to him. Both let out a low moan of pleasure, Robin gasping at the feel of his obvious arousal and the affect she was having on him.

Cormoran was not sure how long they lay there simply kissing. Her limbs were tangled with his. His hands softly stroking her back, her thighs and anywhere else he could touch without breaking away from her mouth. His erection was pressed into her hip, creating a delicious sensation as he rocked against her causing her to gasp and moan even more beneath him, whispering his name against their lips.

He didn’t think he had ever kissed a women for so long. But with Robin he was determined to take his time. To make love to her and worship her as she deserved. Kissing her endlessly till he’s sure both their lips will be bruised in the morning seemed like the best way to begin. 

And somehow it was enough. More than enough ... until suddenly it wasn’t!

Robin broke the kiss. ‘Please.’ She half sobbed half moaned. “Cormoran please. I need you.”

“Fuck.” Strike whispered taking in Robins wrecked appearance. Her skin was flushed with the heat of her arousal. Her eyes blown. Gently he began to kiss down her jaw line, her neck and shoulders scraping his stubble across her skin whilst gently sucking, licking and biting causing Robin to moan his name even louder. 

Finally Strikes lips reached her breasts, where he paused drinking in the sight of her below him. Robin was arching up to him now, offering herself to him, desperate for him to explore her further.

There was no artfulness to her at all. No second guessing or the feeling of subtle manipulation Strike had grown to understand as the hallmark of his relationship with Charlotte. He had thought himself in love back then. Stupid fucker! It was nothing compared to the depth of how he felt now. Robin was without guile. She was simply herself. Beautiful, tenacious, sinfully sexy and giving herself to him so wholly and completely. Cormoran felt his heart jolt almost into his mouth with sheer joy.

“You are so beautiful, Robin Venetia Ellacott.” He whispered softly as he dipped his dark head and gently claimed one of her glorious dusky pink nipples drawing it into his hot wet mouth. Strike lathed it with his tongue, curling and flicking it lightly before sucking it more firmly, using his teeth to gently graze the already hardened peak. Robin cried out at the sensations rocketing through her, wave upon wave of pleasure causing a fresh flood of arousal to flood her already drenched sex.

Strike used the hand that was not pressing her into him to gently roll and pinch her other nipple stimulating it to a hardened nub. He continued his ministrations for some time until Robin was sobbing his name out loud and begging him for more.

His erection was throbbing and he couldn’t wait any longer. His hands began moving over her soft creamy skin touching her everywhere he could reach as he began to kiss down the length of her body. His light, gentle touch was driving Robin to distraction. His mouth was firm yet soft as he nipped and teased her until he reached the soft v of light coloured hair hiding her sex.

Cormoran paused briefly.

“Can I touch you Robin? God, please say yes.” He asked, his voice sounding deeper, his eyes desperate and needy.

Robin fixed her eyes on him. He looked so sexy, large and looming over her. “Yes. Please, Cormoran. I need ...” her voice broke.

“What, darling? What do you need?” He whispered softly, nuzzling himself against the slight curve of her belly, making her gasp again and arch into his touch.

“You.” Robin answered with heartbreaking honesty. ‘It’s always been you. For so long.’ She sobbed.

“You have me, darling. I’m yours.” Cormoran whispered into her flesh. His heart pounding with love and devotion for this women who had changed his whole life. Who had saved him!

Strike gently nudged her legs apart and softly kissed the inside of her thighs. Teasing her with his lips and using his scruffy stubble as she seemed to love.

Robin felt her stomach clench with desire as the burning ache between her legs was now igniting into an inferno of anticipation. 

Then suddenly he was there.

Exactly where she longed and needed him to be.

Cormoran used the flat of his hot wet tongue to lick her sensually from her dripping wet entrance right up to her clit, where he gently flicked the already engorged bud. Robin cried out loud, her hands landing in Strikes thick dark hair, her nails scraping his scalp.

Cormoran groaned with pleasure and pain at the sensation of her fingers digging into him and tugging his hair. He was so hard now. Desperate to bury himself deep inside her, but not at the expense of Robin’s pleasure.

Not until he had showed her how much he adored her.

Not until she was crying out his name with pleasure.

Strike continued lapping, kissing and teasing her clit. First with his tongue and then his talented surprisingly nimble fingers which began to circle her gently driving her on and on. He was hardly able to believe how responsive Robin was to his touch. He raised his eyes to look at her and his breath caught at the sight of her.

Robin’s head was thrown back, the curve of her throat arching as she was sobbing his name. She was so wet and tasted deliciously musky yet sweet and so uniquely Robin. He was intoxicated by her, addicted to the taste and feel of her thighs wrapped around him as she quivered and shook. His eyes fluttered shut unable to look any longer in case he came himself.

She was so close, he could feel it.

With renewed determination gently Strike inserted one of his thick fingers inside her. Stroking her tight slick walls until he found the bundle of nerves he knew would push her over the edge.

“Please, more ... Cormoran please.” She moaned. Her free hand clenching the rumpled sheets of his bed her body quivering edging nearer and nearer to her release.

At her request Strike gently added another finger in her tight wet heat. Crooking them to create more friction. Finally he sucked her clit into his hungry hot mouth, between his soft uneven lips, gently grazing it with his teeth.

... and that was it!

Robin was detonating beneath him, cuming harder than she had ever cum in her life. Her cries of pleasure echoed around the tiny bedroom. Her stomach was clenching deliciously and wave upon wave of molten white heat was coursing through her body. Every nerve ending was on fire.

Her walls were clenching and unclenching around Strike’s fingers. Whilst Strike continued to gently fuck her with his fingers and suck her clit, causing the pleasure he was giving her to go on and on and on . Until suddenly as though he could read her mind and body he stilled, just as the sensation was about to become to much.

The ripples of her ebbing orgasm still coursed through her body. Robin felt completely boneless. Like she was floating above her entire body and was a languid puddle of heat, the slick wetness of her release literally dripping from her. She had never experienced anything so intensely beautiful before. She had not known her body was capable of achieving such sensations. Such delirious heights of pleasure.

Sweet, gentle, patient wonderful Strike was gently extricating himself from between her legs and crawling up her body. Pulling her gently into his strong arms whispering soft tender words to her. His arms felt like they were gathering her shattered senses back together and gently grounding her again. 

Robin nuzzled herself into him, unable to look at him. A little embarrassed by the way she had reacted to him.

She had given herself over to that beautiful moment. She had trusted him wholly and completely giving herself to him. It was a moment she knew she could never have achieved with anyone else other than with this man whose arms she now lay in.

“You ok Ellacott?” He purred into her ear. 

She could tell he was pleased with himself. But Robin could hardly blame him. She was pretty pleased with him to! But she was not done. She wanted more ... she wanted it all.

“I want you inside me.” She whispered against his neck. Flushing with embarrassment at her words.

“Are you sure?” He whispered into her ear, resting his stubbled cheek against hers then laying teasing soft kisses against the sensitive patch behind her earlobe. “I’m in no rush Robin. I’m happy to...”

“Wait?” She interrupted. “To get to know each other better?” She giggled against him causing Strike to chuckle softly. Robin couldn’t help but marvel at how on Earth she could go from the most intense physical experience of her life to laughing with him. And yet ...

This was so natural.

So easy.

So very right.

“Why on Earth have we waited so long.” She whispered voicing her feelings out loud. “I’ve never been surer of anyone or anything in my life Cormoran. I’ve been sure for so very long.”

A small smile quirked Strikes lips and his eyes looked oddly watery. He shifted from her slightly. His large arm began groping for his bedside draw. Robin suddenly comprehending what he was doing laid her hand on his tanned hairy forearm.

“I have an implant. You don’t need ... unless of course you’d rather?” She flushed deeply.

“Christ.” He exhaled.

Then he was there, shifting himself eagerly above her. His impressive erection now visibly on display to her avid gaze. ‘Oh my god’! Robin thought but hardly had time to think any more as he was boxing her gently in with his large muscled arms either side of her as he positioned himself between her legs.

He briefly stroked her cheek lovingly. “I need you to look at me Robin.” He whispered.

She nodded swallowing hard as she felt him briefly press himself against her entrance. His eyes were intense and focused on hers as gently he began to push forward. He was big. Bigger than Matthew. She could feel the gentle burning stretch as Strike slowly eased himself into her. Inch by delicious inch was filling her, gliding against her already sensitive walls until eventually he was completely filling her.

Robin and Strike groaned out loud in unison. Finally they were one. Robins eyes fluttered shut with the ecstasy of having Cormoran inside her. She had never felt so complete than she did in that moment with the man she loved buried deep inside her. Strike also seemed overwhelmed by the sensation. His whole body trembled above her, and he dipped his head to press his forehead to hers, brushing his nose against hers and exhaling sharply.

“Fuck. Your perfect Robin.” He groaned.

Robin couldn’t answer. She simply lay there clinging to him, her hands grasping his back as though she were afraid he would leave her. Strike gently managed to move his arm so he could brush the hair tenderly from her face, caressing the apple of her flushed cheek. 

They both lay there. Neither willing or able to move for what could have been seconds or minutes neither knew. Their lips met kissing each other sweetly, their lips trembling. Until Cormoran could stand it no longer. 

He gently began to rock into her tight wet heat. Small shallow controlled thrusts at first. He desperately wanted to make this good for Robin. But she was so tight and wet wrapped around him he knew he was in danger of embarrassing himself if he was not careful. He tried to control his breathing , wanting this to never end but knowing there was only so long he could tease them both. It felt like they were climbing higher and higher together nearing the precapis. 

To Robin’s utter amazement she could feel that aching throbbing sensation return. Cormoran was angling himself just right to graze that sweet spot he had stroked with his fingers before. She had in the past been lucky to orgasm at all during sex, and here she was now nearing yet another explosive release. 

She wanted him. 

All of him. 

Robin arched herself harder into his slow steady thrusts. Desperate to show Strike he was not hurting her. How much she needed and wanted him to let go. Her sharp fingernails dug into the muscles at his shoulders, sure to leave marks on his skin.

“Cormoran. Darling. Please.” She whined. 

Wether it was her words or her nails biting into his flesh something inside Strike finally snapped. He groaned loudly and Robin could physically feel him harden even more inside her making her gasp. Cornoran was repositioned himself above her, sliding one rough hand to grasp her thigh pulling her tighter into him as he began to thrust harder and deeper inside her until he hit the spot he was looking for deep inside her. 

“Fuck!” Robin cried “Fuck! Cormoran. Oh God!”

Wave upon wave of pleasure was coursing through her body. Building her higher and higher. White hot flames lapping her skin and every cell in her body singing. They moved together as one, instinctively knowing how to move in harmony together. It was as though they had made love a thousand times before. As though each other’s bodies knew and recognised the others and how to move in exactly the right way to heighten each other’s pleasure. 

“Cum for me Robin. I want to feel you cum.”

And fuck she was!! Robin had hardly imagined herself having one orgasm like her last but this one was even more intense. Itripped through her like a tidal wave! Her whole body had arched off the mattress and Cormoran continued to thrust into her fucking her through it all. He watched her unravel beneath him and felt her nails digging into his back. She was crying out his name and he felt her tight walls clench hard around his cock and he was lost. Strike followed her over the edge with one final deep thrust spilling himself inside her, flooding her with his cum. 

They both clung to each other as the ripples of their orgasms continued to surge through their bodies. Strike collapsed onto the bed to the side of Robin eager not to crush her. Not willing to let go he held her to him gently rolling her so she lay half on top of his broad hairy chest. Her legs were tangled with his one and a half and his cock was still buried inside her, twitching and throbbing, until he slid out of her causing her to whimper at the loss.

Cormoran rested his headon topof Robins soft red-gold head as she nuzzled herself into him. Both lay still for several minutes each listening to the thud of each other’s hearts. 

Eventually Robin broke the silence. “Is it always like that?” She asked softly. “I mean. Is that what it’s meant to be like. It’s never ...” her voice trailed off and Strike moved so he could cup her face with one hand and draw her eyes to meet his intense gaze. 

“No.” He answered softly. His eyes holding hers the sincerity in them making Robins eyes fill with tears. “It’s never been like that for me either Robin. How could it be. You could only experience something so profound with someone you love. And I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you... and I never will.”

The tears began to fall unabashedly down her cheeks now. “I love you to Cornoran Blue Strike.”

His tears mingled with hers as he held her close and kissed her softly. 

“I wish you could be buried inside me like that forever.” She murmured against his lips. Making Strike laugh a rich deep throaty laugh that made Robins heart leap with joy at being the one to make him so happy.

He deserved it.

This beautiful man deserved everything and she was going to make sure he knew how loved he was every day for the rest of her life.

“Mmmmm....That would be delicious Ellacott.” He purred softly. “But it would make meetings with clients and surveillance a tad tricky don’t you think? I don’t think we would be very inconspicuous if my cock was buried inside you all day long. Might draw attention.”

Cormoran’s eyes crinkled and his eyes twinkled mischievously. Robin threw her head back and laughed in delight. She liked this playful, teasing side to Strike. When the laughter subsided she looked at him seriously.

“We’ll be ok though won’t we? I mean us, the agency. It’ll be ok. Can I really have it all? I can’t loose you now.” She whispered. 

Cormoran Strike smiled down softly at the woman he loved. His partner now in every sense of the word. His business partner, his best friend and now his everything.

“My darling Robin. It’ll be more than ok. It’ll be like everything else with you at the heart of it. It’ll be exceptional.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this fan fiction. I might write more in this series. I’d like to write about their developing relationship.


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